13.Roses for lovers,
chocolates for crushes
balloons for friendships
most of all,
for loveless
red…
REDHORSE..
14. A man killed a DEER and cooked it but doesnt tell the kids what it is
he gives a clue
“ganyan ang tawag ng Mama nyo sa akin”
the girl cries out,
“wag nyong kainin.. demonyo yan!!!!”
15.Who said fill in the blank is easy???
Sige ikaw nga…try natin.. fill this blank with YES or NO…
___________, i am not a normal person.
16. isipin mo palagi ako nandito sa likod mo
mahulog ka man sa hukay huwag ka matakot hindi ka nag-iisa
hindi man kita kayang hilahin pataas
kaya ko naman sumigaw ng
“help, look oh, nahulog siya!!! Soo engot kasi!!!!”
17. gusto kong sabihing masaya ako para sa inyo..
pero nasasaktan ako… puwede bang wag na siya.. ako na lang… ako na lang ulit…
ONE MORE CHANCE – John lloyd at bea showing na!!!
18. a cardiologist was buried in a heart shaped coffin. one of the doctors laughed.
when asked why he said..
im just thinkin about my coffin
im a gynecologist
19. Son: dad, may confess ako.. bakla ako.. huwag mo akong bugbugin please..
dad: ssshhhh!!wit ka loud baka ma-hear tayo ng mudra mez!! kapag 2 lang tayo, carry mo akong tawaging mother
20. eto pa ang isa sa mga mababangis na banat.
hi ano gawa mo???
gusto mo gawa tayo???
Lupet!!!
21. Tatay:anak, gising na at kakain na tayo.. hinanda ko ang paborito mong ulam
Anak:talaga tay!!!
Tatay: hulaan mo.. mag CHOP sa dulo??
Anak:aha!!! porkchop tay!! paborito ko yun eh!!!
Tatay: ketchop anak.. sige kain ka na…
22. kung totoo ang “Darwin’s theory of evolution” na ang tao ay namula sa unggoy
Bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo???
Baka another theory noh???
23. did you know that
-cockroaches have fingers and nails??
-rats can cure diabetes??
-ballpens in the earlier times are used as needles in making umbrellas??
-the saliva of a horse is used in making cheese??
galing noh??
Lahat yan imbento ko lang… hahahaha
24. Life depends on the way you think. For example, read this: Mypenisinhermouth.
What did u read?? My pen is in her mouth.
or did your dirty mind read something else???
25. Boy: musta???
Girl: k lang. kaw?
Boy:k lang din. hehehe.
Girl:hehehe..
sa Globe Unlitxt, walang kuwenta ang usapan. hahahaha
26. Amo: mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng ingles. ang sinomang magpadugo ng ilong ko at ng anak ko
palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito!!! klaro ba??
Inday: ang mga namutawi sa iyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iimbak sa sulog ng aking balintataw,
sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin,aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. tatalikdin ang matayog
at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasabitin ang aking sangkalooban
inday scores again!!!
27. health tips based on research:
headache-eat fish
fever-yogurt
prevent stroke-tea
insomnia-honey
asthma-onions
arthritis-fish
upset stomach-banana and ginger
bladder infxn-cranberry juice
bone problem-pineapple
premenstrual syndrome-cornflakes
memory problem-oyster
colds-garlic
cough-red pepper
Broken heart??
COLT45!!!
Todo Lakas!!!
28. a blackman, a whiteguy, and a pinoy were in the bar when a sexy lady comes up and says,
“whoever can use the words liver and cheese with style will be my date tonight”
White: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me
Black: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love you
Pinoy: hey, you two!!! Liver alone!!! Cheese mine!!! yeh!!!
29. the pinoy love
as if walang pakialam pero deep inside worried na.. miss na miss na…
pero nagtext.. so what?? daw pero later magrereply din naman…
pa-erase-erase pa ng number kunwari pero.. hello.. memorize naman yung number…
kapag hindi tinitxt ng mahal niya kunwari na wrowrong send para magpapansin…
ayaw magtxt pero nagtatanong sa barkada ng mahal niya kung kumusta na…
hay… Love nga naman sa Pinas oh.. Pang adik!!!
30. Musta ang lovelife???
… eto self supporting!!!